ERIK DOES NOT BELIEVE IN TEARS


Austin, TX – they serve tex-mex food here.
October 6, 2009, 5:46 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

The Spanish explorers had this bizarre fetish for fantastic mythological kingdoms.  It was such a well-known cliche, even at the time, that local tribes who wanted to ingratiate themselves with their conquerers would often invent some magical land, bloated with gold, that lie just outside the boundaries of Spain’s hegemony.  So it was that the Spanish learned of the realm of the “Tejas,” who were so rich they fed grain to their horses (imagine!) and probably had gold and lots of loose ladies, at least as the Indian scouts told it.  The Spanish didn’t really believe it, since they had been told this same tale 30,000 times only to go tromping off to find some poor people ingeniously scraping a living off the desert.  But grudgingly they walked off and discovered Texas anyway, finding that people greeted them with the call “Táyshas!  Táyshas!” which meant “Friends! Friends!”  What a friendly place, as long as you aren’t on death row.

We were sadly only in Austin for a day.  I was disappointed because it seemed quite awesome.  Due to rainstorms that swept through the area, we could not partake in a planned Segway tour of the city.

How I imagine I would look like on a Segway tour of Austin.

How I imagine I would look on a Segway tour of Austin.

We also lamed out and did not buy tickets to Austin City Limits music festival.  Mostly this is because it was expensive, but also because Dave Matthews and I have a long-standing disagreement about what constitutes good music.  We are not on speaking terms.

Me versus DMB.

Me versus DMB.

Emily and I did eat lots of amazing tex-mex food.  So that happened.  Again and again.

Toward the end of Saturday night, we went to 6th Street.  This is the legendary drag in central Austin, full of bewildering bars, drunken frat boys, hip musicians, and Weird People of all varieties.  There was a bar called “Bikini’s” staffed by women wearing bikinis.  Get it?  There were several late-night tattoo parlors, catering to a special kind of morning hangover regret: Was it really necessary for me to get Yosemite Sam tattooed on my bicep at 4AM?

We left 6th street, and found ourselves at a bar called “Lala’s.”  The bar is decorated for Christmas all year.  Wrapped gifts snuggle up to a decorated tree.  The multi-colored lights fall across the mirrors and ceiling beams.  A string of elves suspend from the ceiling.  The string is attached to the door to the men’s restroom.  When someone enters the restroom, the elves dance merrily.  The juke box played only Motown, old soul hits, and albums from my parent’s vinyl collection (Ex: skinny, cocaine-era Linda Ronstadt).  You can play an Elvis Christmas album in October.

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4 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Just like Bronners, but with the welcome addition of alcohol!

Comment by mumsy

next stop okc baby! you’ll like it better than austin.

Comment by Eric

Area 51! Man, what a classic game.

Comment by Daniel

It was pretty easy, but for some reason I kept dying.

Comment by erik.




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